Headline of the Day

Probably what *this* should be called.
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Crunchums » Mon Dec 07, 2020 7:02 pm

The Onion doing a good job right now:

‘This Will Be The Most Challenging Few Months In History,’ Says CDC Director Who Just Bought ‘Dark Souls II’
Google AI Zones Out While Being Trained On Mandatory Racial Sensitivity Data Set
Obama Volunteers To Inject Vaccine, Eat Ghost Pepper, Get Bitten By Tarantula Live On New YouTube Channel
CDC Introduces New Expedited Quarantine Period Of 3-5 Business Days For $29.99
William Barr Celebrates Holidays By Giving Lethal Injections To Those Less Fortunate
u gotta skate

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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Khaos » Mon Dec 07, 2020 7:06 pm

all very good

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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Tue Dec 08, 2020 3:39 am

Goya CEO Names AOC Employee of the Month After Her Boycott Increases Their Sales
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by pterrus » Tue Dec 08, 2020 5:29 pm

I gotta find a casual way to ask my aunt if she's managed to eat through her hoard of Goya beans yet.

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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by seathesee » Wed Dec 09, 2020 10:10 pm

Rats besiege New York Chipotle, eating avocados and attacking staff
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Skeletor » Wed Dec 09, 2020 10:19 pm

seathesee wrote: Wed Dec 09, 2020 10:10 pm Rats besiege New York Chipotle, eating avocados and attacking staff
Those damn democ rats
wow, [you]. that all sounds terrible. i hope it gets better for you

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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Dantes » Thu Dec 10, 2020 2:10 pm

Facebook Announces Plan To Break Up U.S. Government Before It Becomes Too Powerful
Pour like Hemingway's last call.

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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Thu Dec 10, 2020 2:19 pm

Dantes wrote: Thu Dec 10, 2020 2:10 pm Facebook Announces Plan To Break Up U.S. Government Before It Becomes Too Powerful
:rofl:
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Juri » Thu Dec 10, 2020 2:47 pm

Dantes wrote: Thu Dec 10, 2020 2:10 pm Facebook Announces Plan To Break Up U.S. Government Before It Becomes Too Powerful
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Dantes » Thu Dec 10, 2020 3:06 pm

It's an Onion piece from June, but damned if it wasn't perfect.
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:22 pm

Oops wrong thread lol
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Jeb Bush 2012 » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:50 pm


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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Fri Dec 11, 2020 4:52 pm

Is my friend's dog going to evolve into a crab
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Mon Dec 14, 2020 1:57 pm

Man Worth $120 Billion Wants Small Businesses Locked Down Until 2022
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Dantes » Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:01 pm

Doug wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 1:57 pm Man Worth $120 Billion Wants Small Businesses Locked Down Until 2022
That's a shit headline and not anywhere close to what Gates said.
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:14 pm

Dantes wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:01 pm
Doug wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 1:57 pm Man Worth $120 Billion Wants Small Businesses Locked Down Until 2022
That's a shit headline and not anywhere close to what Gates said.
rofl
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Juri » Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:17 pm

if you have $120 billion you can just buy all the small businesses and lock them down yourself :teach:
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:20 pm

Juri wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:17 pm if you have $120 billion you can just buy all the small businesses and lock them down yourself :teach:
Price tag coming down every day
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Dantes » Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:20 pm

Juri wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:17 pm if you have $120 billion you can just buy all the small businesses and lock them down yourself :teach:
Or if someone asks you how long it's going to take to get back to normal, you can give a thoughtful answer that gets boiled down to class warfare rhetoric and gets uncritically repeated.
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:22 pm

Dantes wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:20 pm
Juri wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:17 pm if you have $120 billion you can just buy all the small businesses and lock them down yourself :teach:
Or if someone asks you how long it's going to take to get back to normal, you can give a thoughtful answer that gets boiled down to class warfare rhetoric and gets uncritically repeated.
Class warfare rhetoric never bothered you before ... ?
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Dantes » Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:29 pm

Doug wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:22 pm
Dantes wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:20 pm
Juri wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:17 pm if you have $120 billion you can just buy all the small businesses and lock them down yourself :teach:
Or if someone asks you how long it's going to take to get back to normal, you can give a thoughtful answer that gets boiled down to class warfare rhetoric and gets uncritically repeated.
Class warfare rhetoric never bothered you before ... ?
It has always bothered me. I don't have anything against the very wealthy and I never have.

What I do have a problem with is lack of fidelity to truth.
Pour like Hemingway's last call.

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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:59 pm

Dantes wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:29 pm
Doug wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:22 pm
Dantes wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:20 pm

Or if someone asks you how long it's going to take to get back to normal, you can give a thoughtful answer that gets boiled down to class warfare rhetoric and gets uncritically repeated.
Class warfare rhetoric never bothered you before ... ?
It has always bothered me. I don't have anything against the very wealthy and I never have.

What I do have a problem with is lack of fidelity to truth.
The truth is that Bill Gates isn't qualified to give thoughtful answers on medical forecasts, and what he should be saying is please don't destroy the economy just to benefit me and Jeff
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Mon Dec 14, 2020 3:00 pm

I assume they go by first names
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Juri » Mon Dec 14, 2020 4:14 pm

Doug wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 3:00 pm I assume they go by first names
they go by their wrestling names any time they're making media appearances or interacting with fans
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by seathesee » Mon Dec 14, 2020 4:43 pm

Doug wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:59 pm

The truth is that Bill Gates isn't qualified to give thoughtful answers on medical forecasts, and what he should be saying is please don't destroy the economy just to benefit me and Jeff
tbf, i would imagine hes more qualified than 99% of the people who listen to him/hear him talk about it.
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Dantes » Mon Dec 14, 2020 5:01 pm

Juri wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 4:14 pm
Doug wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 3:00 pm I assume they go by first names
they go by their wrestling names any time they're making media appearances or interacting with fans
Bill Gates is his wrestling name. His real name is Snidely Whiplash.
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Mon Dec 14, 2020 5:57 pm

seathesee wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 4:43 pm
Doug wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 2:59 pm The truth is that Bill Gates isn't qualified to give thoughtful answers on medical forecasts, and what he should be saying is please don't destroy the economy just to benefit me and Jeff
tbf, i would imagine hes more qualified than 99% of the people who listen to him/hear him talk about it.
Knowing more than the audience is a criteria for a magician
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Rylinks » Mon Dec 14, 2020 6:07 pm

i think a guy who has spent a large amount of money and effort trying to eradicate polio is probably qualified to talk about how vaccines will slow the spread of a disease

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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Doug » Mon Dec 14, 2020 6:09 pm

Rylinks wrote: Mon Dec 14, 2020 6:07 pm i think a guy who has spent a large amount of money and effort trying to eradicate polio is probably qualified to talk about how vaccines will slow the spread of a disease
Do you know what an executive producer does

Because paying for the movie don't make you Quentin Tarantino
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Re: Headline of the Day

Post by Rylinks » Mon Dec 14, 2020 6:10 pm

they spend money on people who won’t grift it. this is quite hard!

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