this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

JPMorgan made money that it did not, you would have to say, "deserve" to make

Probably what *this* should be called.
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this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Feb 26, 2019 5:59 pm

Remember the last financial crisis, when Goldman executives were hauled before Congress and asked about their subprime lending practices? And they looked bewildered and said, you know we don't actually lend to consumers, right? Next time they won't have that excuse!

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Feb 26, 2019 6:09 pm

“BofA” seems a bit more suspect, I have to say.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Crunchums » Tue Feb 26, 2019 6:14 pm

Hello, my name is Matt Levine and I definitely said this sentence.
u gotta skate

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Feb 26, 2019 6:19 pm

Imagine if a tabloid owned by a public company threatened to publish nudes of Jeff Bezos, and Jeff Bezos just lobbed in a hostile bid—funded by his personal fortune, not by Amazon—to buy the publisher at a premium. He would have to put out a tender-offer disclosure document, and in the “Purpose of the Offer” section he would just write “revenge,” and in the “Plans for the Target” section he could write “I am going to find out who leaked my nudes and exact ruinous vengeance on them, and that’s it, I haven’t thought about any other plans.” And then management and Bezos would make their respective cases to shareholders: Management and its investment bankers would put together a detailed slide deck explaining their long-term business plans and financial projections, while Bezos would put out two slides, one saying “Vengeance Will Be Mine” over that picture of him looking buff in a vest, and the other printing the price of his all-cash offer in a really big font.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Juri » Tue Feb 26, 2019 8:09 pm

Good thread
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by seathesee » Tue Feb 26, 2019 10:10 pm

so whats the deal with this guy?
with love, your good friend, seathesee

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Feb 26, 2019 10:16 pm

he writes a column on financial markets and derivatives for bloomberg

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Tue Feb 26, 2019 10:31 pm

with most actual financial crimes there is an element of uncertainty about proof and intent: Who can say whether an offshore company is a sham, or whether the primary purpose of a transaction is to evade taxes? But if you send an undercover agent wearing a wire and he says “I would like to do sham transactions for the primary purpose of evading taxes,” and the target of your investigation says “yes I love doing shams to evade taxes,” then your proof is a lot simpler.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Crunchums » Tue Feb 26, 2019 10:35 pm

Rylinks wrote:yes I love doing shams to evade taxes
that's what i say too, man
u gotta skate

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Juri » Wed Feb 27, 2019 12:22 am

seathesee wrote: Tue Feb 26, 2019 10:10 pm so whats the deal with this guy?
he's a time-traveling rylinks from the future
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Juri » Wed Feb 27, 2019 12:23 am

Crunchums wrote: Tue Feb 26, 2019 10:35 pm
Rylinks wrote:yes I love doing shams to evade taxes
that's what i say too, man
I don't like doing it, but it works
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Wed Feb 27, 2019 12:40 am

A good rough rule of thumb is that every financial transaction that happens, happens in New York.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Wed Feb 27, 2019 5:16 pm

Imagine, as I do every day, being the Tesla Inc. “Designated Securities Counsel” whose job is to review Elon Musk’s draft tweets before he sends them out. (Bloomberg News calls this unnamed but undoubtedly accomplished lawyer “Musk’s Mystery Twitter Sitter.”) The first problem is of course that Musk doesn’t actually let the Designated Securities Counsel review the tweets before they go out, so right there the job is basically impossible.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:37 pm

There is an exception for unionized employees, but a lot of jobs that used to be done by employees are now done by independent contractors. Port truck drivers, who used to be unionized employees, now often aren’t, and when they try to strike for higher pay they face antitrust lawsuits. Collective bargaining by Uber drivers is also probably illegal.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Khaos » Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:38 pm

if this thread's goal is to make me feel dumb then it has succeeded and then some

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:40 pm


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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:41 pm

matt levine writes a lot of things that i think are funny and/or interesting so this thread is so i can post the most funny (often) and interesting (less often) things

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Khaos » Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:45 pm

ok thanks now i can form proper opinions on these things

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Khaos » Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:45 pm

Rylinks wrote: Thu Feb 28, 2019 6:37 pm There is an exception for unionized employees, but a lot of jobs that used to be done by employees are now done by independent contractors. Port truck drivers, who used to be unionized employees, now often aren’t, and when they try to strike for higher pay they face antitrust lawsuits. Collective bargaining by Uber drivers is also probably illegal.
how interesting!

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Juri » Thu Feb 28, 2019 9:52 pm

the cadence of his writing is great. im not sure how you make finance news consistently funny but he somehow manages it
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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Dantes » Mon Mar 04, 2019 8:54 am

Rylinks wrote: Tue Feb 26, 2019 6:19 pm Imagine if a tabloid owned by a public company threatened to publish nudes of Jeff Bezos, and Jeff Bezos just lobbed in a hostile bid—funded by his personal fortune, not by Amazon—to buy the publisher at a premium. He would have to put out a tender-offer disclosure document, and in the “Purpose of the Offer” section he would just write “revenge,” and in the “Plans for the Target” section he could write “I am going to find out who leaked my nudes and exact ruinous vengeance on them, and that’s it, I haven’t thought about any other plans.” And then management and Bezos would make their respective cases to shareholders: Management and its investment bankers would put together a detailed slide deck explaining their long-term business plans and financial projections, while Bezos would put out two slides, one saying “Vengeance Will Be Mine” over that picture of him looking buff in a vest, and the other printing the price of his all-cash offer in a really big font.
Isn't this basically what happened to Gawker?
Pour like Hemingway's last call.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Dantes » Mon Mar 04, 2019 9:24 am

Have now read several of his columns. He’s pretty good.
Pour like Hemingway's last call.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:23 pm

Dantes wrote: Mon Mar 04, 2019 8:54 am
Rylinks wrote: Tue Feb 26, 2019 6:19 pm Imagine if a tabloid owned by a public company threatened to publish nudes of Jeff Bezos, and Jeff Bezos just lobbed in a hostile bid—funded by his personal fortune, not by Amazon—to buy the publisher at a premium. He would have to put out a tender-offer disclosure document, and in the “Purpose of the Offer” section he would just write “revenge,” and in the “Plans for the Target” section he could write “I am going to find out who leaked my nudes and exact ruinous vengeance on them, and that’s it, I haven’t thought about any other plans.” And then management and Bezos would make their respective cases to shareholders: Management and its investment bankers would put together a detailed slide deck explaining their long-term business plans and financial projections, while Bezos would put out two slides, one saying “Vengeance Will Be Mine” over that picture of him looking buff in a vest, and the other printing the price of his all-cash offer in a really big font.
Isn't this basically what happened to Gawker?
not really. Thiel financed a lawsuit against gawker; he didn't try to buy the company

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Dantes » Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:38 pm

Rylinks wrote: Mon Mar 04, 2019 12:23 pm
Dantes wrote: Mon Mar 04, 2019 8:54 am
Rylinks wrote: Tue Feb 26, 2019 6:19 pm Imagine if a tabloid owned by a public company threatened to publish nudes of Jeff Bezos, and Jeff Bezos just lobbed in a hostile bid—funded by his personal fortune, not by Amazon—to buy the publisher at a premium. He would have to put out a tender-offer disclosure document, and in the “Purpose of the Offer” section he would just write “revenge,” and in the “Plans for the Target” section he could write “I am going to find out who leaked my nudes and exact ruinous vengeance on them, and that’s it, I haven’t thought about any other plans.” And then management and Bezos would make their respective cases to shareholders: Management and its investment bankers would put together a detailed slide deck explaining their long-term business plans and financial projections, while Bezos would put out two slides, one saying “Vengeance Will Be Mine” over that picture of him looking buff in a vest, and the other printing the price of his all-cash offer in a really big font.
Isn't this basically what happened to Gawker?
not really. Thiel financed a lawsuit against gawker; he didn't try to buy the company
Sure the details of the heist differ, but it was basically a billionaire saying “vengeance will be mine.”
Pour like Hemingway's last call.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Wed Mar 06, 2019 5:22 pm

2. You didn’t simultaneously disclose the bad thing to shareholders. (Companies never file 8-Ks saying things like “our CEO has decided to sexually harass his assistant this afternoon,” so this is easy to prove.)

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Thu Mar 07, 2019 7:02 pm

Here is “Paul McCulley Sees Value in MMT; Larry Fink Calls It ‘Garbage,’” and I think what I am going to do here is not even spell out what “MMT” stands for. If you have come this far you probably know already and have strong feelings about MMT, and if you don’t it will not make your any life better to find out what MMT is and develop strong feelings about it. But in any case it works better just as a string of letters. “Warren Buffett Sees Value in [series of alien glyphs]; Jamie Dimon Calls It ‘Garbage,’” the actual content doesn’t matter, you can do this with any concept. I am not sure you need a concept even; if you asked Paul McCulley and Larry Fink about QNZ, probably one of them would see value and one would say it’s garbage, even though QNZ is just a series of letters I put together here that, dear lord, I hope do not stand for anything.

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Crunchums » Thu Mar 07, 2019 8:22 pm

QNZ is a quinazoline derivative that inhibits nuclear factor (NF)-κB activation (IC₅₀ = 11 nM in human Jurkat T lymphocyte cells). NF-κB enhances the ...
u gotta skate

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Rylinks » Mon Mar 11, 2019 4:33 pm

Look, obviously the move here is to build the hotel, no? Why shouldn’t Aurora have a 40-story hotel in the middle of a field? With no windows? And made out of lead?

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by 人造 » Mon Mar 11, 2019 9:35 pm

seems like a safety and health concern

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Re: this thread is for posting matt levine quotes in

Post by Crunchums » Tue Mar 12, 2019 7:27 pm

:IO
u gotta skate

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