starcraft

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Khaos
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Re: starcraft

Post by Khaos » Wed Mar 17, 2021 11:32 pm

Starprintsky wrote: Wed Mar 17, 2021 10:39 pm
Crunchums wrote: Wed Mar 17, 2021 9:38 pm are you thinking of hoshi?
edit: aka turbo aka starprintsky
embarrassing post to read


also I'm in a weird timezone and socially anxious and don't get a lot of computer time away from work
i dont have problem with bullying you until you play with us

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Re: starcraft

Post by Shiny Days » Thu Mar 18, 2021 1:33 am

Crunchums wrote:what is embarrassing about having changed your username a few times?
i apologize if it's an inadequacy thing

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Re: starcraft

Post by Skeletor » Thu Mar 18, 2021 2:16 am

Crunchums wrote: Wed Mar 17, 2021 9:38 pm are you thinking of hoshi?
edit: aka turbo aka starprintsky
Damn that's a powerful poster
wow, [you]. that all sounds terrible. i hope it gets better for you

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Thu Mar 18, 2021 4:11 am

I bet my friend 15 Toblerone bars that a Hydralisk and an Overlord could have a baby called an Ovralisk. Hopefully Blizzard writes me back soon! I’m going to eat them all in one sitting!

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:07 am

One time pre-pandemic, I had dinner with my wife at a nice middle eastern restaurant and when the bill came I drew a detailed picture of a zergling in the little area where the tip usually goes. When our server came to retrieve the bill, he very rudely asked me what the drawing was, and whether I was going to leave a real tip. He cut me off halfway through my explanation of zergling physiology to tell me that he knew that I had clogged the toilet in the bathroom and that a picture of a “zorgler” (his words, not mine) wasn’t going to feed his family. I obviously immediately ran out of the place, but despite telling my wife to book it, she stayed inside, apologized and gave the guy an extra 50 bucks! How embarrassing!
(are these getting annoying?)

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Re: starcraft

Post by Juri » Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:22 am

im fine with em
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Re: starcraft

Post by Khaos » Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:38 am

lotus

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Re: starcraft

Post by Khaos » Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:38 am

lotus

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Re: starcraft

Post by Crunchums » Fri Mar 19, 2021 2:45 am

i am enjoying them
u gotta skate

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Fri Mar 19, 2021 11:12 pm

Every time I see a Mutalisk in Starcraft, I’m reminded of my mother who would quickly open my door and sprint into my room seemingly at random whenever I was on my computer, to make sure that I wasn’t looking at any inappropriate sites. You need incredibly good reflexes to close tabs, or in Artosis’ case, micro his marines and SCVs to make sure you didn’t “lose the game” (she would tear up one of my comic books in front of me).

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Sun Mar 21, 2021 1:43 am

A few weeks ago I went to a fortune teller and made a strange request. As I sat down at the small round table table, the old lady opposite me took my hand and spoke. “What is it that you would like to know, young man? What secrets of the universe may I impart to you? What deep arcane knowledge do you wish to unfold and reveal?”

“The future I wish to reveal, madam, is not my own,” I began. “But that of the famed Artosis, one half of the renowned Brood War casting duo Tastosis. My request is to reveal an alternate reality — one where instead of choosing Terran at the beginning of his career, he instead picked Protoss!”

On the old crone’s face, I saw confusion, but also the desire to earn $45 plus potential gratuities and a 5 star Yelp review. “So be it! Let us gaze upon the orb and delve into the unknown!” She said as she tore the silk handkerchief off of her crystal ball.

We both stared into the glass globe, as it swirled with color and blurry shapes. “Yes... Yes.” She spoke. “I see a man. A successful man! He lives in a large house, his brow is free from worry. His job and hobbies bring him great joy and relaxation. Through him I see a great coursing of positivity and ease.”

“And now woman, to prove your skill, tell me of Artosis had he picked Terran!” I yelled, pounding my fist down upon the thin table.

She peered into the ball once more, and a look of pain twisted upon her wrinkled visage. “Aaaahhh!” She screamed as she lifted her hands to shield her eyes. “No! He is cursed! His face holds the pain of uncountable loss and suffering! Tell me this is not how he truly is! Tell me he is the man from the first vision!”

“Nay crone,” I muttered. “The man you just laid eyes on is indeed the Artosis that exists in our world. You have confirmed my suspicions, and thus you will be paid your due.”

I took the large jar of pennies from my bag and poured approximately $45 dollars onto the fortune teller’s floor, and before she could protest I strode into the night, my head filled with the wicked visions I had bore witness to that wretched evening.

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Sun Mar 21, 2021 1:50 am

that one isn't showing up. it think it was held for review because it was so huge

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Re: starcraft

Post by Crunchums » Sun Mar 21, 2021 2:01 am

more fanfiction than Ken M there, but it is still fun
u gotta skate

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Mon Mar 22, 2021 3:48 am

After about a year of training, I am proud to say that I have managed to teach my dog to play Brood War. I bet you're probably rolling your eyes right now, thinking "Oh, here's one of these stupid trolls in Artosis' comment section" and "What kind of loser spends his time inventing stories for some meaningless likes on a Youtube video", but this is the TRUTH. Through a combination of techniques, including screaming, treats, a custom keyboard with paw-sized keys and tactical withholding of affection, my mission to get my dog to play and even win ladder games on US East is now a reality. I have him set up with Protoss (of course), and taught him how to build Zealots and send them to his opponent's base. If I yell loud enough and threaten him with a bath or a trip to the vet, sometimes he even follows that up with offensive cannons. This has been good enough to get him to B Rank on US East, and with any luck, we'll be up to A Rank very soon!

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Wed Mar 24, 2021 1:24 am

When I was in college, I designed an entire martial arts system around concepts I had learned from Brood War. The other students laughed when I practiced my techniques and poses in the Quad outside the dorms, but the laughing stopped when I executed a perfect Zerg Rush attack on a would-be bully and followed it up with a Reaver elbow drop. The police thought that I was on some kind of amphetamine because I wouldn’t stop quoting Artanis (in his voice). After 24 hours of observation they figured that that was just how I behaved and let me go with a warning. Although time has passed since my college days, I still follow the same guiding philosophies I discovered back then, which are 1) Eat all of your meals as quickly as possible, 2) NEVER make eye (I) contact with anyone and 3) Restrict yourself to a maximum of two hours of sleep a night. For Auir my brothers!

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Thu Mar 25, 2021 11:38 pm

When I was a kid, I convinced my parents to play Starcraft with me. It was pretty funny because my mom was absolutely terrible at it. When I 4 pooled her, she would get so angry she would lock me in the closet for hours! My dad on the other hand had a more zen approach. If I ever tried to cheese him, he would go over to the fuse box and shut off all the power in the house, then go into the garage and scream himself hoarse. I think that my parent’s behaviour really helped mold me into a more honorable Brood War player, and when I have a child I’ll try my best to instil in them the same kind of self restraint. Or else ;)

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Re: starcraft

Post by Crunchums » Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:15 am

https://youtu.be/rzE_-pPGiV0?t=874
neat hydra defiler vs SK Terran game
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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Fri Mar 26, 2021 4:59 pm

Crunchums wrote: Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:15 am https://youtu.be/rzE_-pPGiV0?t=874
neat hydra defiler vs SK Terran game
that's pretty cool, but i mean, is that really better than zergling ultralisk? there were certain engagements where i felt like he could have moved his M&M&F into the dark swarm

i guess it just goes to show how with dark swarm, anything is possible

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Re: starcraft

Post by Crunchums » Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:07 pm

i think the key advantage is that hydras can take down vessels
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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:29 pm

Crunchums wrote: Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:07 pm i think the key advantage is that hydras can take down vessels
seems like something that could be solved with better control on the part of T. vessels are faster than hydras and can move over terrain pretty easily.

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Re: starcraft

Post by Crunchums » Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:32 pm

on paper it sounds simple to just fly your vessels around where the hydras are to get at the defilers. in practice that requires a lot of attention (and I'm surprised Z didn't get a few scourge to cover some of the other approach angles), especially since you also really want to keep your vessels unclumped to avoid plague. and another thing about hydras instead of ultras and lurkers is that zerg has more gas for defilers
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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:42 pm

Crunchums wrote: Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:32 pm on paper it sounds simple to just fly your vessels around where the hydras are to get at the defilers. in practice that requires a lot of attention (and I'm surprised Z didn't get a few scourge to cover some of the other approach angles), especially since you also really want to keep your vessels unclumped to avoid plague. and another thing about hydras instead of ultras and lurkers is that zerg has more gas for defilers
i suppose, but lurkers were being built anyway. i dunno, would have to see it a bit more. also seems worse versus tanks, which you see terran build pretty often versus non-muta openers (like lurker all-ins) 0/0 tanks still do tons of damage to hydras, even under dark swarm

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Re: starcraft

Post by Crunchums » Fri Mar 26, 2021 5:54 pm

Bracketbot wrote: i suppose, but lurkers were being built anyway
less than usual, though
also seems worse versus tanks
yeah, i don't think Z would have gone for it if T didn't go SK Terran
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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Fri Mar 26, 2021 6:17 pm

i get that it was a response to SK terran, but i don't think tanks are a big investment if this style catches on. you just need a machine shop and siege mode. i doubt upgrades are necessary, but you have to build an armory anyway, so maybe you could squeeze in +1 attack or something on the tanks

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:39 am

One time I was at the mall with my wife and I saw Artosis in the food court. "Hey honey, there's the guy that commentates my favorite game, Starcraft!" I said as I pointed him out to my wife.

I guess Artosis didn't take kindly to the pointing, because he snapped his head towards us, chugged the remainder of his extra large Monster energy drink, threw it over his shoulder and proceeded to walk up to my wife and I.

"Wow! Hey Artosis! It's a real pleasure to finally meet you!" I said as I extended my hand, offering a handshake. Artosis looked down at my hand like I was thrusting a piece of excrement towards him and then looked back up at me. "Man, the manners on some people today." He scoffed as he shook his head in mock disbelief.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked, feeling incredibly taken aback. "I BEG YOUW PAWDON?" Artosis replied loudly, drawing attention from nearby onlookers. "Do you know how rude it is to point at people? Am I like an animal in the zoo to you, just some dumb ape you can point and laugh at? Should I take a dump right here on the floor like an animal for you?"

People began to start murmuring and looking on, as Artosis continued to make a scene. "I bet you'd just love that, wouldn't you? If I pulled down my pants and made potty on the floor here for you, like some filthy baboon?" At that point, Artosis stooped over and began pounding his chest and screeching loudly. My wife and I quickly turned around and started walking in the other direction as Artosis began flinging food trays off of tables and jumping up and down on the banquette seating.

Anyway, if you're reading this Artosis, it was really cool to finally meet you! Love your casting!

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Re: starcraft

Post by Crunchums » Sat Mar 27, 2021 3:31 am

lol that ending
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Re: starcraft

Post by Juri » Sat Mar 27, 2021 2:22 pm

Crunchums wrote: Sat Mar 27, 2021 3:31 am lol that ending
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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Sat Mar 27, 2021 10:18 pm

Artanis swiped the seeing crystal to get a closer look at the Terran outpost. Missile turrets -- likely many more inside where the observer could not penetrate.
"Executor! Have you formulated a plan?" Said the impatient Praetor Xel-Niir. "It has been nearly three days and we have mined out most of the known resources in this location, and we are awaiting your command to crush the Terran base."
"Patience, young Praetor," replied the wizened Protoss leader. "Our strike shall be precise, and minimize any unnecessary losses. The Terrans like to sit inside their fortifications and dare you to throw your forces into the maw of their defenses."
"Yeah," griped Xel-Niir. "It's pathetic if you ask me. Sitting inside your base like a cowardly shelled animal. At least the Zerg attempt to fight you."
"Tell me about it," agreed Artanis. "There is no honor in the strategy they employ... Now listen young Praetor, for the time is approaching to unleash our killing blow. We shall send our Arbiter vessels past the ring of missile turrets and then recall our ground forces within the Terran base. When their tanks unsiege to deal with the threat within, we will strike at their front entrance."
"Oh, god damn!" Xel-Niir replied, in awe of the simple brilliance of his superior's plans. "Haha, yeah that will make them so upset!"
"You must remember one thing Xel-Niir," continued Artanis. "When our units are destroying what is left of the Terran force, we must communicate to them how easy it was and that they are big losers. That this was almost a game to us, a very 'EZ' game if you will."
"FOR AIUR!" Yelled the Praetor as he left the control center to carry out the Executor's mission.

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Re: starcraft

Post by Ashenai » Mon Mar 29, 2021 2:06 am

"cowardly shelled animal" made me snort

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Re: starcraft

Post by Bracketbot » Thu Apr 08, 2021 5:08 pm


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